When I first heard the song “Fada Fada” I was at a festival with my now ex-boyfriend. His eyes lit up and he lead me to the dance floor.
It was his favorite song. I’ve never seen him so enthusiastic.
Our relationship was incredibly private, but for that moment, I enjoyed how happy he was, how happy we were, dancing to the tune.
“Every day by day i just dey celebrate oh
….I just want to say o, thank you Jehovah oh”
Some weeks later I found out my ex had cheated on me with two other women in a meetup group I was in. Because our relationship was so private, my friends had a hard time believing that I was dating him.
My friends had obviously never witnessed our togetherness, the beat of Fada Fada, our eyes locked and our bodies (well, his body) in rhythm. Our current and subsequent moments of pure elation when the song came on, and we would sing with all our heart:
“Bu re kene riwo otuto Fada Fada eeeh, Fada Fada eeeh
A di kwam Loyal o Fada Fada eeeh, Fada Fada eeeh”
I eventually was exiled from my friend group after having an autistic meltdown. For a long time I was heartbroken, broken, and vulnerable. I was quick to blame everyone but myself for what have happened with my ex and my friend group. Until I was able to truly process the real power of forgiveness. I was able to truly love and heal.
Fast forward several months and I am reacquainted with the old tune in Nigeria during my Fulbright grant. However, when the song comes on, I don’t wince or cringe, but remember all of the wonderful things that happened in my life after the situation was over. I met a new and very loving boyfriend turned best friend, had made new amazing friends, became stronger in my faith in God, and was able to better process my emotions and heal faster
When I hear “Fada Fada” at clubs, I don’t sulk or wallow in the past, but I smile and embrace the future. My future is bright o, and no one can take that away from me.
Many of my friends here in Naija have apologized on behalf of my friends and my ex, and it is much appreciated, but not necessary for my health and wellness. I’ve forgiven them, and I thank God for that.
I brush it off, run to the dance floor, and with my new friends, sing with all my heart:
“I just want to say o, thank you Jehovah oh
…Fada Fada eeeh, Fada Fada eeeh”
I have truly healed.